We see many couples that come through Bella Collina, and most decide that Bella Collina is the right venue for them to be married. We really appreciate those couples and we get to know them and their families pretty well.
Knowing how many couples and families we get to know, and knowing that we are with you from the time you tour Bella Collina to the time you become husband and wife, you can imagine we see a lot of different situations. Then, after you’re married and sometimes before, we see you start the journey with bella babies and buying new homes. We follow you on Facebook and love keeping up with you. From time to time you’ll come to a murder mystery dinner or work an event with us. Through it all we listen to you about the good, the bad and the ugly of your relationship.
Can I give you my take on relationships? They simulate the perfect pie… We will call this my “pie theory.”
Remember when your mom or grandma made that perfect pie and placed it on the window sill to cool when we were kids? My mom loves to bake, most of you know her. Some, considered the “younger generation” remember hearing about this. Well let me tell you, the pie looked incredible, smelled incredible and lord knows when we were able to sample it… the pie tasted incredible. A relationship is like that perfect pie! The perfect relationship is all of the aforementioned and more, it’s likely to become your life.
Like a pie, relationships have slices, slices you can take from it. The first argument in your relationship represents the first piece of pie taken out of the whole pie. It may be a sliver or it may be a big piece, depending on the argument. Just for clarification, “A one night stand” is a pie in the face!
When we argue, we argue differently with each passing argument. We adapt behaviors that allow us to argue more aggressively from the first few arguments on to what will be our last few arguments. Why is that? We as human beings allow certain behaviors to take place. What we deem acceptable versus the unacceptable, and what we say is unacceptable should never happen again.
We learn from that first slice of pie “the first argument” what is acceptable and what is not. Once the first slice of pie is missing, the pie is certainly not as pretty. Now the question arises of when is the second slice taken out of the pie? This pie should last your entire lifetime, it should be treasured not taken from. Thus the meaning behind this pie theory, how many slices can you take out of the pie before there are no slices left?
We have all been there; it’s called the end of the relationship. Then after we end a relationship we tend to start a new relationship with a “pretty pie” again… We human beings are some interesting bakers. How many pies do we go through before we understand the logic? Are we not obese enough in this wonderful country? When we are finished with the pie, and there are no more pieces in the pie, we have only two paths to go down. One, we stay in our empty relationship and maintain what is, instead of what could be. Granted, some of us try to bake a new pie for our loved one. But, is it ever really the same? Two, we start fresh with a new pie in a whole new relationship. The excitement is with you again, the thrill of being turned on by someone new. The opportunity of a new pie sitting on the sill, hoping we learned from the last pie we just ate. When in theory life could be much simpler. Try this – STOP EATING THE PIE! When you choose to bring that dating relationship to a monogamous relationship, it’s because they could be “the one”. That life partner we all crave, so treat them with respect!
Take the good with the bad, learn to pick your battles. Why do we tolerate more in the first three months of the relationship than at any other point in the relationship? Why do we decide we won’t tolerate those same behaviors as we once did? Imagine only having one pie in the window and keeping that perfect pie looking as yummy as mom or grandma designed it to be. Imagine deciding to treat the relationship with the respect it deserves and then keeping everything you loved about that person - forever. Make them a priority, be proud of who they are, introduce them to others as your significant other, treat them with respect, show them you love them, send them sweet nothings throughout the day, stop the madness and end the vicious dating cycle. Stop eating pie! Treasure your loved ones, treat them the way you would the first three months, forever. Forgive them, be the bigger person and make up first. Create the relationship you want instead of settling for the relationship you get. Make them a priority over others and treasure every minute you have with them, because you never know when it will be your last. I hope you enjoyed.... Joe
Nestled in the heart of Stokesdale in North Carolina